I started up the mountain

and turned back as you slipped.

I heard voices on the other side

and listening to them tell tales

I never heard you scream.

I thought of possibilities,

remembered destiny doesn’t exist

except by what we make

and I continued ascending the mountain

because I had to look into the valley.

 

Growth explosion erupted

from a place I had known existed,

though had long forgotten.

When I was sick, alone

and crying out, where were you?

I knew you heard, but stubbornness

encompassed much of what we were

back then, coupled with the fear

of always, every day and forever .

 

Our most loyal companions

sit on our shoulders every day

screaming into one ear

while reason whispers into the other.

The screaming always wins

because reason is confusing

coupled with the voices of love, logic

and the terror of life lessons

forged since the beginning of forever.

 

That is what I recall by the light of long days

and moonless sleepless nights

as slowly part of my soul became a decrepit,

gangrenous limb removed from its host.

It withered and turned yellow/brown

while that cheesy stink ate itself alive.

 

I wanted to see the earth melting

From fire raining from the sky

just to see and to know

that I could go there if I chose.

I wanted to look over and see hell

to understand what could have been

then choose to release it all to fall away.

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One thought on “Cathartic Ritual

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