In my morning wake to begin again,

a life, that is at once choice

though it is too,

unfulfilling and wrapped

in a stale cold towel of monotony.

 

Stumble buffo from the bath

and stare into the face of a stranger

lost, with eyes bleeding for change.

Dress to the rhythmic beat

of a heart that will stop

and allow some bit of freedom,

wished upon

and detested in the same breath.

 

How long has it been since,

and how long have I been here?

My ideas are not mine

so I cannot answer

this, simplest of questions.

I descend from the stairs

with my other self, crying out

“Don’t’ you do this!”

 

I check the time

and suddenly,

words spill from my head

in an assimilation of rhyme.

My pillow is warmth.

My thoughts again are not mine.

If I may begin,

speaking aloud to myself

I am dodging life

and making rhymes

Searching for a someone

I once knew

once upon a long lost time.

 

I need someone to friend.

I want to friend hard,

like Bilbo and Frodo

back me up’s and tears

flowing through

thick and thin years

barbecues and good vibes.

And in the end

we will raise our kids

and bitch about our wives.

 

Tell me is it true,

that we are all

mostly lonely here too?

 

I want to wake

entangled in someone,

someone who asks of me

and my ideas.

 

I want to speak and receive

between a woman and me.

I can’t breakfast

for last night has left me too weak,

then out to my car

the disheveled walk of the meek.

 

I leave with a heavy foot

and a thickness in my chest.

I feel a dull numbness

creeping on my left

as I exit the drive

and make my way

to a final stalemate.

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