And here I am, now, running through the found parts of my other lost-self. I am rebirthed again from the aftermath that was a path called thirty-seven years of bad road. And yes there were interests, arrestments and amusements that held me to joyful moments along the way, but moving from rest stop to rest stop, hoping that the next one would be, the one…

Pleasure after a quick fix, to pleasure again and onto the next… I am a marionette, built from snails and tails discarded after a cannibalistic feast. My skin exists as nothing but rags stitched from fish bones, adding a colorful reek to my soul. The night was never-ending and the souls I passed pressed their faces to my glass and though the picture was clear the glass was smudged with road debris, bugs and excremental feces, bombarding the windshield until I was viewing all things through a thick layer of caked grime…

I awoke as myself. At least I think I was myself, for was it not I who crawled out of bed the other morning, with my view of the world coming at me through the smudged glass where I observed everything? It was something, but it was nothing, even though it was everything. The road was not before me or I wasn’t on the road, or my window was suddenly clean, or perhaps I was actually standing outside… This is a possibility because I felt the air as if for the first time…

Was I taller? Was I stronger? Did this occur overnight or have I been asleep for a thousand years? Right now I feel awake, and in that awakening I am younger, but am I older? Is this wisdom? Experience? Or is it knowledge? If it is knowledge, knowledge of what, for there hasn’t been any learning, but there has been a knowingness, which would be suppose-ed sort of learning…

I see the road clearly now, that it is, what it is. It is not what I thought it was, for there is not just one path, or one stop, or one anything. The proverbial superhighway of all things coming and going at the same moment, and in that there are infinite stops and intersections before me. Have I been missing all of this?

The question comes and I think of all the rumors I had heard. Rumors that caused me to believe and hope and search to no avail, but here it is… from the nowhere and right before me the whole time, hidden by my lack of foresight… but nowhere is now here, and here I am…

I have made a choice today and with a determined retched swing, the connection is like that of a bomb exploding. With savage determination I swing again to effect damage on this thing that suddenly gives and shatters before me. Then I smile and get back inside. I have to scrape the glass off the seat so as not to cut myself. I won’t be able to affect the speeds that I am used to traveling on this road, but that is how I got where I was in the first place. Driving blindly into the wind and not avoiding the obstacles, but smashing through them…

When I hit the gas there is no protection and the wind is strong coming through the empty windshield, but now everything will be coming at me. I can see it coming and I can react how I choose to react to it, and I can choose where I am going, for now I am afforded the ability to see, the road, the stops, the pitfalls and breakdowns, and all the possibilities laid out before me slipping forward into each moment as I become and declare that I, am I!


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