Hello cutiecutiecutie I really enjoyed your profile, straight forward and yet light and… cute (wink wink.) I believe I fit your parameters, or your stipulations, wants, hopes or overall criteria… And… in an effort to be integral lets address each one on its own merit… shall we?

“He should be very honest, open-minded, intelligent and fun… very ambitious and driven… affectionate… comfortable with himself… enjoys good communication.”

Now that is a list so from the top.

HONEST – That is usually code for “Don’t cheat asshole,” VERY is code for… I’ve been cheated on before and I don’t want to go through that shit again. I have a hard time trusting as it is and if you step out of line I’m out.”

I Got it! Once upon a time I was a Boy Scout, which by definition is honest. That means nothing really, but I am as honest as I can be unless it comes to pain. There is a tendency for machismo and to ignore pain for I am man. However if a bone is sticking out of me, you can call me on it. Also watch for sweating and tears.

OPEN MINDED – Now that can be interpreted in many, many ways and those ways can be… okay let’s be honest… it could be weird, I mean this is California. So I guess that can be discussed at a later date. Suffice it to say, third nipples, webbed toes, I’m good with. However if you are into blood play, or have a penis, I would have to draw the line.

INTELLIGENT – Compared to what exactly? I believe I am intelligent, however the guy that broke into my car and stole my laptop probably considers himself intelligent as well. So let’s say that I can chew gum, tie my own shoes, surf the web and discuss molecular biology and its relation to the universe, all at the same time. How’s that? Or am I padding my Resume?

FUN – another contextual question. I dig comedy and enjoy doing things, sometimes odd things. Open minded, wink! See what I did there? Have you ever crashed a wedding or a high end party… fun. Then again have you ever played army men with the rubber ducky in a bubble bath hot tub… funner. AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON PATTY CAKE!!!

AMBITIOUS/DRIVEN – Alright now we’re getting onto something. I am currently in the process of recreating my life into what I choose for it to be. It’s complicated and more on that on our first date. It is truly inspiring.

Now just to play fair, that last is code for: I have a job that pays my bills, while I try to get the band back together and make that high school dream a reality. Not exactly me, but you get the picture.

AFFECTIONATE – Back again to context. These days people sit in Starbucks and do everything, but have sex, others don’t touch at all. I’m somewhere in the middle, but I am willing to negotiate and learn or teach depending on the situation.

COMFORTABLE WITH HIMSELF – Okay I think I can say that I am reasonably comfortable with myself, I am not a diamond in the rough, but I could use some polishing here and there. Maybe a little off the waist, add a little swole in the arms and chest. I do not make out with the mirror… well I did once, but it was a dare and there was alcohol and a giant wolf’s head mounted to the wall so….

ENJOYS GOOD COMMUNICATION – Okay all joking aside… I thrive on good communication back and forth between two people discussing anything and everything. I believe that communication is the foundation of all relationships be them good or bad…

Alrighty then cutiecutiecutie what do you think? Do I get a pass? Be well. Coffee is on me if you’re open-minded.

P.S. I have the third nipple and webbed toes.

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