Fear.

Fear of loss

of losing everything I have

or will ever have the opportunity to gain.

 

Fear

like a festering torment

a tumor growing inside

that cannot be satisfied

until discussion or conversation

and the resulting decision

made by someone outside of yourself

is understood.

 

Fear of no control

Fear of nothing you say will be understood

or cared about by anyone.

Fear of loneliness.

Fear that no one else

will ever be interested enough

to get you

or you interested enough to get them.

Fear of the unrequited pining shit

that is that crazy four letter L word.

 

Fuck,

fear!

 

Fear of forever lonely

Fear of the unknown,

the possibility of bad things

happening randomly,

at any given moment

and nothing in time is ever positive.

 

Fear of the end.

Fear of losing life,

lived or not

Fear of missing

opportunities that present themselves

of not being prepared

when that bastard comes knocking

and sticks its ugly fucking face in your door

holding the keys to everything and evermore.

 

Fear of death

of it happening like lightning strikes

or of killing one’s self

Fear of, this is it

and the current stage is not the legacy

with nothing complete and no second self found.

 

Fear of being just a grease stain

on the earth

to be scraped,

cleaned

flushed away and forgotten.

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