Fear of loss
of losing everything I have
or will ever have the opportunity to gain.
like a festering torment
a tumor growing inside
that cannot be satisfied
until discussion or conversation
and the resulting decision
made by someone outside of yourself
Fear of no control
Fear of nothing you say will be understood
or cared about by anyone.
Fear of loneliness.
Fear that no one else
will ever be interested enough
to get you
or you interested enough to get them.
Fear of the unrequited pining shit
that is that crazy four letter L word.
Fear of forever lonely
Fear of the unknown,
the possibility of bad things
at any given moment
and nothing in time is ever positive.
Fear of the end.
Fear of losing life,
lived or not
Fear of missing
opportunities that present themselves
of not being prepared
when that bastard comes knocking
and sticks its ugly fucking face in your door
holding the keys to everything and evermore.
Fear of death
of it happening like lightning strikes
or of killing one’s self
Fear of, this is it
and the current stage is not the legacy
with nothing complete and no second self found.
Fear of being just a grease stain
on the earth
to be scraped,
flushed away and forgotten.